As someone that lives with Hemaphobia I know how difficult it can be to face the fears of having a blood test. This seems trivial to others and I am often ridiculed for it, nonetheless it is a very real problem for me. In the days leading up to bloods my anxiety is heightened tenfold. I have even put off going to doctors if I have concerns because of Hemaphobia. It makes me procrastinate on the off chance I may have to have a blood test done
Today I had to have some more bloods taken and I’ve spent the last few days mentally preparing, waking early this morning to meditate to calm myself before I arrived at the hospital’s pathology lab, it seemed to work because when I arrived knowing I had to go in alone due to covid restrictions, I was ok, I was calm, I was even ok when I was in the waiting room before the testing and again once I was sat In the chair.
My palms started to sweat however when the lovely pathologist strapped the tourniquet around my left arm in addition to rubbing and tapping it because she couldn’t find a vein, she then had to strap the tourniquet around my right arm as I apparently have no veins at all in my left and continued the tapping process for what seemed like forever.
What really got the anxiety going however was when she showed me the needle she had to use in addition to telling me I had very difficult veins and the needle had to go in “up to here” while she pointed to the 6cm needle. Once the needle was in my arm she had to wiggle it around for 5 minutes until it stuck so the blood could flow.
Yep, I did almost faint, but you know what? I did it! I got through it in the end and I’m damn proud of myself for it. It seems silly to some I’m sure, even so it really taught me that life is about being afraid but doing it anyway, of being brave and facing challenges head on. You should never be ashamed of your flaws and insecurities. They are what make you uniquely you! Celebrate the small wins people, also remember to be proud of your achievements always!
Mr Gibbous and The Wildling 