Ad astra per aspera: Through adversity to the stars

Here in Melbourne we are still experiencing some of the strictest lockdowns and restrictions internationally. The powers that be keep dangling the carrot in our collective faces that they will be eased soon and to keep the faith, just hold on, we are all in this together, only for it to be extended again and again. I speak from experience, it is so disheartening. I can’t read or watch the news without feeling like I want to cry. I understand of course the need for some restrictions to be in place to keep those at risk safe and that other countries are using refrigerated trucks as morgues for their dead. I see the impacts of this virus however I wanted to give some insights in to what the last 6 months have been like here.

It has been 195 days of being “locked down”, of days not being able to visit family here or interstate, of kids not being able to go to school, of parents having to juggle work and homeschool, of not being able to hug friends and family, of not being able to travel outside of our 5km area, of not being able to get necessities, of curfews (until recently), of people not being able to say goodbye to those that are ill or have passed, to mourn with family or attend funerals, of not being able to go to a doctor with the support of a loved one, of elective surgeries being postponed, of not being able to get allied health treatment, 195 days that the collective mental health of the community has been impacted every day, of people taking their lives due to lockdowns, of people losing their homes, income or family members and friends to this pandemic.

People say, Melbourne should do better. To those people I’d like to say many things but for now I think I will stick with diplomacy and say that the majority of us can’t do any better. We have given up our freedoms, we have given up our capacity to leave the house for more than 2 hours a day, we have given up so many things that ease the challenges of every day life that some take for granted which continues to impact physical, mental and spiritual health, as well as livelihoods and the livelihoods of business owners that have had to shut their doors.

Through all of this though I have definitely found that it’s true that though tough times don’t last, tough people do. Those who choose to stand in the face of adversity are forever strengthened and forged by life’s most difficult challenges. We can’t control the hand that life deals us, but we can accept or deny the obstacles placed in our path. At the end of all of this, we will be stronger, more resilient and a more compassionate community together because of the challenges we have faced and will continue to face until this pandemic is controlled. Until then though I will say; stop asking what we did on the weekends, stop telling us what you did with yours, stop saying you can travel about and do whatever you want, stop poking fun at a state that is doing it tough for a laugh at our expense. Be kind and remember that we are all only one circumstance away from being in someone else’s shoes. 🦋

Trees need hugs too

The modern society that we live in can create a lot of stress and expectation, which I find has made me turn to nature as a form of therapy, if I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed out I notice that I have an intrinsic need to be around Mother Earth and all of her gifts. Weather it be creating an indoor plant jungle or strolling through the forests to say hello to the oldest tree, or simply using the restorative and grounding energy from physically touching trees to bolster my mood and assisting my mental health.

I find myself calm, grounded and content when given the chance to connect with, sit against or place my hands on a tree, focusing on the energy they give, musing about what these beautiful giants have seen as they watch over me like my ancestors past and being grateful for the oxygen they provide. I feel It is so important to educate future generations on the importance of the natural world as well as the significance of sustainably utilising the natural wonders around us to holistically heal

According to a study performed by the Center for Environment, Health and Field Sciences, Chiba University centred on “forest bathing”, being in nature increased participants oxytocin levels, the hormone that is responsible for calming and emotional bonding and increased their serotonin and dopamine allowing the participants to experience less anxiety, hostility, fatigue, confusion, and depressive symptoms.

The study lists that “The psychological benefits of walking through forests are very significant, and forest environments are expected to have very important roles in promoting mental health in the future

Many still associate “tree hugging” as part of a hippy lifestyle, portraying those like myself as insane for speaking with and thanking Mother Nature for the gifts, however I have found the benefits to my physical, spiritual and mental health far outweigh the strange looks that I get from others when they see me talking to the trees. The natural world is a marvellous place where I am lucky enough to wander, where I am fortunate to connect with my innermost thoughts and feelings, speaking as freely as I want without judgment.

Next time you find yourself taking a meander in nature, I urge you to try it! Wishing you peace, love, light and prosperity 🦋

My favourite time of year

Although outdoor activities are limited due to the coronavirus lockdowns, I can still say without doubt that spring is definitely my favourite season. I’m enjoying the warmer weather and the ability to be able to sit in the garden and watch the bees buzzing by as well as the beautiful butterflies flitting from blossom to blossom. It’s peaceful watching these little miracles pollinate while I lay in the shadow of the big eucalyptus tree, feeling the suns rays filter through her leaves while she sways in the gentle breeze. I feel happy and contented to be afforded this simple privilege

For someone that uses nature for grounding, I’m very fortunate to live in an area with a large and luscious outdoor space. This makes for so many fond memories pottering around, propagating and repotting my indoor plants and growing my own veggies, orchard and flowers. Gardening and tending to my indoor plant jungle has definitely helped with my mental health but lets be honest it’s also just fun to play around in the earth, getting my hands dirty and leaves stuck in my hair. Times like these remind me of when I was a child, viewing everything with such wonder, feeling such joy from watching something grow and thrive. As adults we forget these little moments in life. Our lives get so busy, so noisy, that’s it’s amazing to just stop and literally smell the roses

I’ve taken time today sitting in the middle of my garden in stillness, enjoying watching the birds have a splash around in the bird bath. Enjoying the warmth of the sun and the blossoms slowly opening in her rays, just taking time for reflection, wonderment and replenishment. It’s a beautiful thing and it makes me realise how very lucky I am and keeps me humble in a way that I can sometimes lose sight of. I’m grateful for this moment. It’s such a gift to remember to be present without having to worry about what’s going to happen next

Wishing you all love and light and hoping you all have an opportunity to slow down today and enjoy the little things 🦋

Hemophobia – Blood Test Anxiety

As someone that lives with Hemaphobia I know how difficult it can be to face the fears of having a blood test. This seems trivial to others and I am often ridiculed for it, nonetheless it is a very real problem for me. In the days leading up to bloods my anxiety is heightened tenfold. I have even put off going to doctors if I have concerns because of Hemaphobia. It makes me procrastinate on the off chance I may have to have a blood test done

Today I had to have some more bloods taken and I’ve spent the last few days mentally preparing, waking early this morning to meditate to calm myself before I arrived at the hospital’s pathology lab, it seemed to work because when I arrived knowing I had to go in alone due to covid restrictions, I was ok, I was calm, I was even ok when I was in the waiting room before the testing and again once I was sat In the chair.

My palms started to sweat however when the lovely pathologist strapped the tourniquet around my left arm in addition to rubbing and tapping it because she couldn’t find a vein, she then had to strap the tourniquet around my right arm as I apparently have no veins at all in my left and continued the tapping process for what seemed like forever.

What really got the anxiety going however was when she showed me the needle she had to use in addition to telling me I had very difficult veins and the needle had to go in “up to here” while she pointed to the 6cm needle. Once the needle was in my arm she had to wiggle it around for 5 minutes until it stuck so the blood could flow.

Yep, I did almost faint, but you know what? I did it! I got through it in the end and I’m damn proud of myself for it. It seems silly to some I’m sure, even so it really taught me that life is about being afraid but doing it anyway, of being brave and facing challenges head on. You should never be ashamed of your flaws and insecurities. They are what make you uniquely you! Celebrate the small wins people, also remember to be proud of your achievements always!

Black cloud of Anxiety

This week has kicked me in the bum, leaving me exhausted in all aspects of my life. Anxiety has taken over my brain and has physically impacted me with feeling sick and unable to keep food down, aches and pains throughout my body, lack of sleep or motivation and the constant feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s like I’ve forgotten the little things that I can do to maintain a heathy balance of the mind, body and spirit.

I kept apologising for things I couldn’t control. Making silly mistakes at work, doubting myself and those around me. Trying to create solutions to problems that don’t exist anywhere other than my own mind. Distancing myself from my family and friends because it’s exhausting trying to pretend your ok because you don’t want to be “that girl”

Trying to rationalise and explain things logically even though anxiety isn’t logical. It’s a sick and twisted dark cloud that feels like it suffocates, that can sap the life and energy out of us if left unchecked.

But you know what? The best thing that I could have done is get the help that I needed. As scary and overwhelming as It is anxiety isn’t who I am. It’s not something that I will allow to define me. I have to promise to make time for myself and allow myself to re focus my energies on finding my balance, figuratively and literally. and always remember that it is ok not to be ok and as cliched as it sounds, tomorrow is a new day and anything can happen and talking to someone you trust is a MUST!

If you or anyone you know, need help you can find helplines here https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-helplines

Love and light you all 🦋

A year of claustrophobia

Based in a city that is locked down due to COVID you would assume that feelings of being stuck would be a given. And quite rightly so, not knowing if or when the light at the end of the tunnel will come exacerbates feelings of the walls closing in around me which leads to bouts of anxiety and then depression gets thrown into the mix, thus continues the vicious cycle.

Nevertheless, I can tell you that for the last year of my life I have experienced feelings of claustrophobia, more due to the state of my mental health and feelings of lack of control than anything else. As most of you know and according to Beyond Blue “One in six Australians are currently experiencing depression or anxiety or both” to this end I wanted to use my experiences for the good of others, to try to help those that may also be experiencing similar feelings.

One of the tools I use that helps me feel less stuck, less anxious, less claustrophobic is guided imagery. Headspace tells us “Guided imagery is a focused practice that involves each of the five senses to ignite positive healing messages throughout the mind and body”

In detail it is a relaxation technique that draws on your ability to visualize and daydream allowing imagination to create relaxing or positive images and experiences. It works in allowing your body and mind to refocus and interpret these images as real and tangible. I’ve found utilising this practice has a very real impact on my physical and mental responses.

If you are experiencing any of these not so helpful feelings I urge you to give it a try. You can find some resources on the practice here https://www.headspace.com/meditation/guided-imagery and https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well/relaxation-exercises

Crystal Work: essence and energy

Crystal work has been an instrument that has allowed me to recollect all the wonderful things that already exist within me, thats what crystals do, they help you feel, balance and remember

Crystals are a natural wonder that come from the earth, a gift from Gaia that has enabled me to unblock my chakras and align my internal energy by performing everyday rituals that allow me to tune in to my true nature and purpose. They also aid me to support others in doing the same. Just like I utilise sacred smoke, the energy from a tree, the phases of the moon or the tides that lap against the shore, I have found that the use of crystals and the energy that flows from them and within them inspires me to slow down and remember my truth.

Throughout my life I’ve had a lot of people look at me and say “she’s just a weirdo, a hippy who uses pet rocks to separate herself from the real world” or “that’s just a load of new age bullshit” and of course they are entitled to their opinions and beliefs but ever since my mother handed me my first crystal at a young age and said “hold this in your hand and just feel it” something life-changing happened and to this day, just like the “wand chooses the wizard” the crystals have always intuitively chosen me and my energy through connection of touch and feeling.

Ever since that day, I’ve been on a spiritual path. A path which has provided me genuine happiness and radiance in helping others. My purpose in helping others and then watching them blossom in their lives from the mysteries that I am able to share with them from my learnings and experiences and the balance of energy the crystals I give and teach them to use can provide, is true authenticity of self. To give hope to myself and others in a sometimes ruinous world through the use of crystal healing is a gift that I will forever be grateful for.

Being on a spiritual path is never an easy task. As mum would say “trying to realign yourself can sometimes feel like baptising a cat” even so with the use of the crystals vibrational energy along with every day rituals I will provide you, I hope to continue to aid true growth and balance. I will educate you about individual crystals, their properties, their uses and every day rituals which will give you alignment in your energy and assist in tuning you in to your truer selves and nature with consistent practice.

In the meantime I wish you love, light and prosperity 🦋

Feeling Stuck: A journey for passion

Do you ever get a feeling of being stuck in a moment? of being lost and feeling numb in life? over the years people have continued to tell me to go out and find my passion, that when I find it everything will magically fall in to place and I’ll never work a day in my life because I’d be doing something I enjoy and in doing so making my life easier.

The huge problem with this however is that it has lead me to look for my passion in all the wrong places. That “finding my passion” was the be all and end all of my journey, the holy grail, the pursuit of happiness found in an amazing partner, career, having a family, financial or materialistic gain or external validation that would aid in aligning all of my needs ultimately making me feel fulfilled in every aspect of my life.

Continuing to think my passion was some unattainable secret that had to be uncovered has for the most part kept me looking for something. This has made me feel at times overwhelmed, lost and unfulfilled and that is when the anxiety creeps in. I’m starting to identify that finding your passion is a farce. An idealistic narrative that you’re told to make you comply to social mores

It is stated in the oxford dictionary that “Passion is a strong and barely controllable emotion” to this end I believe that passion is not something you find. It should be something you feel. If I continue to try to find that one thing I was created for, that one thing that was meant for me, that would give my life a deeper meaning, I am going to continue to feel lost and unfulfilled as if I am missing a part of myself. Like I am not whole without it and until I find it nothing will align how it is meant to.

It’s definitely been a challenge to identify that passion can’t be found, that it is not something outside of or separate from myself. In my mirror work practice I’m slowly connecting that passion is internal. It’s an energy that flows within, an energy that I already have within me that I can bring to everything I do in my life. It’s not in what I do but in how I do it. The old adage that money can’t by happiness comes to mind here.

This is why I feel we see and hear more often these days that the ones we’ve been taught to strive to mimic, the ones that have attained all the bells and whistles, the huge net worth, large house, frequent holidays or fame, more often than not experience feelings of depression and being miserable when on the other hand we find those who live with passion, with their internal energy driving them, living a more fulfilled and energised life. Appreciating what they have right now. Regardless of how much they have gained, able to have more frequent enjoyment of each moment and not feeling like they are missing out on something.

Having a clearer understanding that passion is just energy that I already have within me is a comfort because I know that I am the only person that has complete control of how much energy I put in to everything I do. As an anxious person this is great because it means I have all the power and can sway how I can live a more passionate life.

I feel what has enabled me to live a more passionate life is simply starting with the things that I already know give me grounding energy and being consistent with them. Whether it be meandering through the forest and saying hello to the trees, pottering around in my garden, cleansing my surroundings and crystals, preparing a canvas to pour on or simply taking a self care moment to do yoga or a face mask.

Our passion? It’s all in the little things we do for ourselves. The happiness moments that allow us to sit back and breathe and realise that if we can love and work that we are, by Freud’s definition, well adjusted people and the rest is just noise, specifically that my purpose is what I do in servitude for others but my passion is in the little things I do for myself. The energy I choose to live my life by and allow myself to put out in to the world.

Wishing you all safe tidings full of love, light and the understanding that we are all connected by energy in some shape or form so let’s be kind to each other but most importantly be kind to ourselves. 🦋

Gratitude Attitude: Living in your growth zone

One thing to remember when you go out of your comfort zone good things can happen but sometimes they don’t, either way you become stronger in yourself somehow. Makes you more resilient. Unshakeable in your goals and when you figure out what direction you want or need to be going in? It prepares you for it. Makes you open to it and makes you strong enough to fight for it. It makes you appreciate and be grateful for the little things in life that much more.

Of course there’ll be times when you take one step forward and two steps back, especially when you feel anxious which makes it feel like the “sky is falling” But it doesn’t. It may storm and be dark and cloudy but the beautiful thing I’ve discovered about life is that the sun WILL rise tomorrow, a new day will begin and it’s another chance to be whatever you want to be. A fresh slate.

I firmly believe everything happens for a reason! it’s absolutely true. You meet people at points throughout your life and experience things that teach you about yourself, about life, what you do and don’t want and essentially what kind of person you want to be, All of those things, emotions, growing up, love gained and love lost, that is what guides you, shapes you to who you’re destined to be in that moment which puts you on a certain path or lesson. And then when its time, when you’ve learned the lesson or when they, the moment or path no longer serves you, you are presented with an opportunity to evolve to your higher self by shedding energies that no longer match the frequency of your destiny.

But this can be very hard to do, to let go of all the expectations of what you should be or do and face the fear of not knowing what will happen next, not having control of the result, of not being able to guarantee the outcome which is why some of us choose to ignore the opportunity, to stay stagnant, depressed, anxious. I’m learning however, there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s possible to achieve anything you set your mind on. It’s about believing in your path, making the tough decisions, of being afraid but doing it anyway because that’s what life is about.

Image – Tree of Life

Life is about living for each moment, being thankful for all the blessings you’ve received along the way, for appreciating the times you’ve been so contented, felt like you belonged, laughed until you’ve cried, those moments, those lessons and the resilience, strength and the person you are at the end of that frequency of self? that’s the beauty of it. That makes life the greatest adventure.

We’re always growing, always changing, trying to find where our new higher self fits? It can get overwhelming and lonely at times but there are always those constant moments, those simple things that ground you. The smell of your partners skin when you hug at the end of the day, the colour of the night sky on a full moon, playing under the sprinkler with your sisters as a kid, laughing with your parents, playing with your grandparents, going for bike rides, catching tadpoles in the stream with your cousins. Sharing parts of those previous selves with each person you come in contact with and gaining new knowledge, experience, understanding that your higher self needs to keep shifting, growing, changing along the way.

To connect, with everything, nothing, all of it! feelings, memories, beautiful moments that make up the best things in life. That’s what we’re all after. To feel connected. It’s when we feel disconnected that nothing makes sense. That nothing feels complete. Don’t be afraid to go for what you desire. Affirm that you DO deserve all the good coming to you, that you’re not a bad person, not a victim.

Whatever will be, it’s going to happen regardless. Learn what you can and appreciate what you can. Everyday. Gratitude. You attract what you put out. change your mindset, look at life from a different perspective and the wonders of the universe and whoever guides you will cease to amaze you. Things will fall in to place when the time is right! When it’s required most. Stop asking so many questions! Stop asking when? Stop, breathe, listen. You’ll be surprised what you’ll find in the quite.

Love & Light to all 🦋

Sweet Dreams: Better sleep hygiene

I am sure many of you at some stage in your life experience some form of anxiety. Sometimes that anxiousness can manifest in different ways. For me it has manifested in my sleep cycle. Or should I say lack of sleep cycle.

The last few months it has been a waking nightmare. Literally. With the COVID restrictions back in place and not having the opportunity to leave the house since March, I’m finding it more of a challenge then usual to be the peaceful and loving empath I usually am. And my family and friends are suffering for it. The biggest challenge to date for me has been to fall asleep and then stay asleep. Suffice to say I’m a little cranky as the lack of sleep is impacting how my body resets and repairs itself.

According to the division of sleep medicine at Harvard Medical School “Most people don’t get enough sleep. We are a society that burns the candle at both ends, a nation where people stay up all night to study, work, or have fun. However, going without adequate sleep carries with it both short- and long-term consequences. In the short term, a lack of adequate sleep can affect judgment, mood, ability to learn and retain information, and may increase the risk of serious accidents and injury. In the long term, chronic sleep deprivation may lead to a host of health problems including obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and even early mortality”

And they are not wrong, in the last 3 months alone I’ve noticed huge differences in my mood and in the way my body functions. I’m sure my family has also seen a change in my approach to life and have lovingly suggested I should work towards better sleep hygiene

So in the still of the night, when most people are tucked up in bed, I’ve read and researched and purchased many a random thing. To date I’ve tried different alternatives outside of going on synthetic melatonin or sleeping medications to aid sleep and although I am in no way affiliated with these companies I have come to the conclusion that the following options are best for me.

1. Weighted blankets: These work in a way that’s similar to an OT technique called deep touch pressure therapy (DTP). Pressure on the body can increase the release of serotonin in the brain. This neurotransmitter is sometimes called the “happy” chemical because it creates a sense of calm and well-being. These have shown positive results for several conditions, including autism, ADHD, and anxiety. They can help calm a restless body, reduce feelings of anxiety, and improve sleep troubles. I got mine from Aldi. https://www.aldi.com.au › special-b…Web resultsWeighted Blanket – ALDI Australia

2. Meditation – Sleep Meditation helps aid better sleep hygiene. As a relaxation technique it can quiet the mind and body while enhancing inner peace. Meditation before bed promotes an overall calmness which aids in reducing insomnia and sleep issues. I use the Calm app for the sleep stories. https://www.calm.com › sleep-storiesWeb resultsSleep Stories – Calm

3. Natural Sleep Aids: Nonprescription sleep aids are typically considered natural alternatives. They encourage relaxation, ease anxiety, and promote sleep. Many natural sleep aids are also linked to other health-promoting behaviors like improved digestion and pain relief. I use the BetterBare Co, SleepyBare Gummies. https://www.betterbare.co/products/sleepybare?variant=undefined

By no means has this “fixed” my sleep issues but I think the most important thing for me is being consistent with my self care and following a sleep routine before bed. In doing so, these preventive measures can have a significant impact on sleep hygiene. I now know that a little bit of attention and care goes a long way and the more consistently I practice these measures, a better sleep and quality of life will surely follow.

However, I am not a doctor. If the preventive measures you try don’t work for you please make sure to see your Doctor as continued loss of sleep can be a problem that warrants attention. You cannot afford to ignore your sleep deprivation or take it lightly.

Wishing you all better sleep and warm dreams 🦋