This week has kicked me in the bum, leaving me exhausted in all aspects of my life. Anxiety has taken over my brain and has physically impacted me with feeling sick and unable to keep food down, aches and pains throughout my body, lack of sleep or motivation and the constant feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s like I’ve forgotten the little things that I can do to maintain a heathy balance of the mind, body and spirit.
I kept apologising for things I couldn’t control. Making silly mistakes at work, doubting myself and those around me. Trying to create solutions to problems that don’t exist anywhere other than my own mind. Distancing myself from my family and friends because it’s exhausting trying to pretend your ok because you don’t want to be “that girl”
Trying to rationalise and explain things logically even though anxiety isn’t logical. It’s a sick and twisted dark cloud that feels like it suffocates, that can sap the life and energy out of us if left unchecked.
But you know what? The best thing that I could have done is get the help that I needed. As scary and overwhelming as It is anxiety isn’t who I am. It’s not something that I will allow to define me. I have to promise to make time for myself and allow myself to re focus my energies on finding my balance, figuratively and literally. and always remember that it is ok not to be ok and as cliched as it sounds, tomorrow is a new day and anything can happen and talking to someone you trust is a MUST!
Based in a city that is locked down due to COVID you would assume that feelings of being stuck would be a given. And quite rightly so, not knowing if or when the light at the end of the tunnel will come exacerbates feelings of the walls closing in around me which leads to bouts of anxiety and then depression gets thrown into the mix, thus continues the vicious cycle.
Nevertheless, I can tell you that for the last year of my life I have experienced feelings of claustrophobia, more due to the state of my mental health and feelings of lack of control than anything else. As most of you know and according to Beyond Blue “One in six Australians are currently experiencing depression or anxiety or both” to this end I wanted to use my experiences for the good of others, to try to help those that may also be experiencing similar feelings.
One of the tools I use that helps me feel less stuck, less anxious, less claustrophobic is guided imagery. Headspace tells us “Guided imagery is a focused practice that involves each of the five senses to ignite positive healing messages throughout the mind and body”
In detail it is a relaxation technique that draws on your ability to visualize and daydream allowing imagination to create relaxing or positive images and experiences. It works in allowing your body and mind to refocus and interpret these images as real and tangible. I’ve found utilising this practice has a very real impact on my physical and mental responses.
Crystal work has been an instrument that has allowed me to recollect all the wonderful things that already exist within me, thats what crystals do, they help you feel, balance and remember
Crystals are a natural wonder that come from the earth, a gift from Gaia that has enabled me to unblock my chakras and align my internal energy by performing everyday rituals that allow me to tune in to my true nature and purpose. They also aid me to support others in doing the same. Just like I utilise sacred smoke, the energy from a tree, the phases of the moon or the tides that lap against the shore, I have found that the use of crystals and the energy that flows from them and within them inspires me to slow down and remember my truth.
Throughout my life I’ve had a lot of people look at me and say “she’s just a weirdo, a hippy who uses pet rocks to separate herself from the real world” or “that’s just a load of new age bullshit” and of course they are entitled to their opinions and beliefs but ever since my mother handed me my first crystal at a young age and said “hold this in your hand and just feel it” something life-changing happened and to this day, just like the “wand chooses the wizard” the crystals have always intuitively chosen me and my energy through connection of touch and feeling.
Ever since that day, I’ve been on a spiritual path. A path which has provided me genuine happiness and radiance in helping others. My purpose in helping others and then watching them blossom in their lives from the mysteries that I am able to share with them from my learnings and experiences and the balance of energy the crystals I give and teach them to use can provide, is true authenticity of self. To give hope to myself and others in a sometimes ruinous world through the use of crystal healing is a gift that I will forever be grateful for.
Being on a spiritual path is never an easy task. As mum would say “trying to realign yourself can sometimes feel like baptising a cat” even so with the use of the crystals vibrational energy along with every day rituals I will provide you, I hope to continue to aid true growth and balance. I will educate you about individual crystals, their properties, their uses and every day rituals which will give you alignment in your energy and assist in tuning you in to your truer selves and nature with consistent practice.
In the meantime I wish you love, light and prosperity 🦋
Do you ever get a feeling of being stuck in a moment? of being lost and feeling numb in life? over the years people have continued to tell me to go out and find my passion, that when I find it everything will magically fall in to place and I’ll never work a day in my life because I’d be doing something I enjoy and in doing so making my life easier.
The huge problem with this however is that it has lead me to look for my passion in all the wrong places. That “finding my passion” was the be all and end all of my journey, the holy grail, the pursuit of happiness found in an amazing partner, career, having a family, financial or materialistic gain or external validation that would aid in aligning all of my needs ultimately making me feel fulfilled in every aspect of my life.
Continuing to think my passion was some unattainable secret that had to be uncovered has for the most part kept me looking for something. This has made me feel at times overwhelmed, lost and unfulfilled and that is when the anxiety creeps in. I’m starting to identify that finding your passion is a farce. An idealistic narrative that you’re told to make you comply to social mores
It is stated in the oxford dictionary that “Passion is a strong and barely controllable emotion” to this end I believe that passion is not something you find. It should be something you feel. If I continue to try to find that one thing I was created for, that one thing that was meant for me, that would give my life a deeper meaning, I am going to continue to feel lost and unfulfilled as if I am missing a part of myself. Like I am not whole without it and until I find it nothing will align how it is meant to.
It’s definitely been a challenge to identify that passion can’t be found, that it is not something outside of or separate from myself. In my mirror work practice I’m slowly connecting that passion is internal. It’s an energy that flows within, an energy that I already have within me that I can bring to everything I do in my life. It’s not in what I do but in how I do it. The old adage that money can’t by happiness comes to mind here.
This is why I feel we see and hear more often these days that the ones we’ve been taught to strive to mimic, the ones that have attained all the bells and whistles, the huge net worth, large house, frequent holidays or fame, more often than not experience feelings of depression and being miserable when on the other hand we find those who live with passion, with their internal energy driving them, living a more fulfilled and energised life. Appreciating what they have right now. Regardless of how much they have gained, able to have more frequent enjoyment of each moment and not feeling like they are missing out on something.
Having a clearer understanding that passion is just energy that I already have within me is a comfort because I know that I am the only person that has complete control of how much energy I put in to everything I do. As an anxious person this is great because it means I have all the power and can sway how I can live a more passionate life.
I feel what has enabled me to live a more passionate life is simply starting with the things that I already know give me grounding energy and being consistent with them. Whether it be meandering through the forest and saying hello to the trees, pottering around in my garden, cleansing my surroundings and crystals, preparing a canvas to pour on or simply taking a self care moment to do yoga or a face mask.
Our passion? It’s all in the little things we do for ourselves. The happiness moments that allow us to sit back and breathe and realise that if we can love and work that we are, by Freud’s definition, well adjusted people and the rest is just noise, specifically that my purpose is what I do in servitude for others but my passion is in the little things I do for myself. The energy I choose to live my life by and allow myself to put out in to the world.
Wishing you all safe tidings full of love, light and the understanding that we are all connected by energy in some shape or form so let’s be kind to each other but most importantly be kind to ourselves. 🦋
One thing to remember when you go out of your comfort zone good things can happen but sometimes they don’t, either way you become stronger in yourself somehow. Makes you more resilient. Unshakeable in your goals and when you figure out what direction you want or need to be going in? It prepares you for it. Makes you open to it and makes you strong enough to fight for it. It makes you appreciate and be grateful for the little things in life that much more.
Of course there’ll be times when you take one step forward and two steps back, especially when you feel anxious which makes it feel like the “sky is falling” But it doesn’t. It may storm and be dark and cloudy but the beautiful thing I’ve discovered about life is that the sun WILL rise tomorrow, a new day will begin and it’s another chance to be whatever you want to be. A fresh slate.
I firmly believe everything happens for a reason! it’s absolutely true. You meet people at points throughout your life and experience things that teach you about yourself, about life, what you do and don’t want and essentially what kind of person you want to be, All of those things, emotions, growing up, love gained and love lost, that is what guides you, shapes you to who you’re destined to be in that moment which puts you on a certain path or lesson. And then when its time, when you’ve learned the lesson or when they, the moment or path no longer serves you, you are presented with an opportunity to evolve to your higher self by shedding energies that no longer match the frequency of your destiny.
But this can be very hard to do, to let go of all the expectations of what you should be or do and face the fear of not knowing what will happen next, not having control of the result, of not being able to guarantee the outcome which is why some of us choose to ignore the opportunity, to stay stagnant, depressed, anxious. I’m learning however, there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s possible to achieve anything you set your mind on. It’s about believing in your path, making the tough decisions, of being afraid but doing it anyway because that’s what life is about.
Image – Tree of Life
Life is about living for each moment, being thankful for all the blessings you’ve received along the way, for appreciating the times you’ve been so contented, felt like you belonged, laughed until you’ve cried, those moments, those lessons and the resilience, strength and the person you are at the end of that frequency of self? that’s the beauty of it. That makes life the greatest adventure.
We’re always growing, always changing, trying to find where our new higher self fits? It can get overwhelming and lonely at times but there are always those constant moments, those simple things that ground you. The smell of your partners skin when you hug at the end of the day, the colour of the night sky on a full moon, playing under the sprinkler with your sisters as a kid, laughing with your parents, playing with your grandparents, going for bike rides, catching tadpoles in the stream with your cousins. Sharing parts of those previous selves with each person you come in contact with and gaining new knowledge, experience, understanding that your higher self needs to keep shifting, growing, changing along the way.
To connect, with everything, nothing, all of it! feelings, memories, beautiful moments that make up the best things in life. That’s what we’re all after. To feel connected. It’s when we feel disconnected that nothing makes sense. That nothing feels complete. Don’t be afraid to go for what you desire. Affirm that you DO deserve all the good coming to you, that you’re not a bad person, not a victim.
Whatever will be, it’s going to happen regardless. Learn what you can and appreciate what you can. Everyday. Gratitude. You attract what you put out. change your mindset, look at life from a different perspective and the wonders of the universe and whoever guides you will cease to amaze you. Things will fall in to place when the time is right! When it’s required most. Stop asking so many questions! Stop asking when? Stop, breathe, listen. You’ll be surprised what you’ll find in the quite.
I am sure many of you at some stage in your life experience some form of anxiety. Sometimes that anxiousness can manifest in different ways. For me it has manifested in my sleep cycle. Or should I say lack of sleep cycle.
The last few months it has been a waking nightmare. Literally. With the COVID restrictions back in place and not having the opportunity to leave the house since March, I’m finding it more of a challenge then usual to be the peaceful and loving empath I usually am. And my family and friends are suffering for it. The biggest challenge to date for me has been to fall asleep and then stay asleep. Suffice to say I’m a little cranky as the lack of sleep is impacting how my body resets and repairs itself.
According to the division of sleep medicine at Harvard Medical School “Most people don’t get enough sleep. We are a society that burns the candle at both ends, a nation where people stay up all night to study, work, or have fun. However, going without adequate sleep carries with it both short- and long-term consequences. In the short term, a lack of adequate sleep can affect judgment, mood, ability to learn and retain information, and may increase the risk of serious accidents and injury. In the long term, chronic sleep deprivation may lead to a host of health problems including obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and even early mortality”
And they are not wrong, in the last 3 months alone I’ve noticed huge differences in my mood and in the way my body functions. I’m sure my family has also seen a change in my approach to life and have lovingly suggested I should work towards better sleep hygiene
So in the still of the night, when most people are tucked up in bed, I’ve read and researched and purchased many a random thing. To date I’ve tried different alternatives outside of going on synthetic melatonin or sleeping medications to aid sleep and although I am in no way affiliated with these companies I have come to the conclusion that the following options are best for me.
1. Weighted blankets: These work in a way that’s similar to an OT technique called deep touch pressure therapy (DTP). Pressure on the body can increase the release of serotonin in the brain. This neurotransmitter is sometimes called the “happy” chemical because it creates a sense of calm and well-being. These have shown positive results for several conditions, including autism, ADHD, and anxiety. They can help calm a restless body, reduce feelings of anxiety, and improve sleep troubles. I got mine from Aldi. https://www.aldi.com.au › special-b…Web resultsWeighted Blanket – ALDI Australia
2. Meditation – Sleep Meditation helps aid better sleep hygiene. As a relaxation technique it can quiet the mind and body while enhancing inner peace. Meditation before bed promotes an overall calmness which aids in reducing insomnia and sleep issues. I use the Calm app for the sleep stories. https://www.calm.com › sleep-storiesWeb resultsSleep Stories – Calm
3. Natural Sleep Aids: Nonprescription sleep aids are typically considered natural alternatives. They encourage relaxation, ease anxiety, and promote sleep. Many natural sleep aids are also linked to other health-promoting behaviors like improved digestion and pain relief. I use the BetterBare Co, SleepyBare Gummies. https://www.betterbare.co/products/sleepybare?variant=undefined
By no means has this “fixed” my sleep issues but I think the most important thing for me is being consistent with my self care and following a sleep routine before bed. In doing so, these preventive measures can have a significant impact on sleep hygiene. I now know that a little bit of attention and care goes a long way and the more consistently I practice these measures, a better sleep and quality of life will surely follow.
However, I am not a doctor. If the preventive measures you try don’t work for you please make sure to see your Doctor as continued loss of sleep can be a problem that warrants attention. You cannot afford to ignore your sleep deprivation or take it lightly.
When I think about enlightenment, I get this picture in my head of Jim Carey in “Ace Ventura” seeking to attain “omnipresent super galactic oneness” which isn’t validated until he is presented with a “medallion of spiritual accomplishment”
Jim Carey – Ace Ventura: When nature calls
Now, I understand of course that this is all in jest and for the plot of the character, but it got me thinking about external validation. Specifically, In my quest for “oneness” I have come to realise that seeking validation from external factors is one of the things that creates disillusionment and dissatisfaction.
If one continues to seek validation from external factors there will never be a sense of fulfilment. This is due to the fact that in doing so we become easily manipulated by others views of ourselves. “We think we are what they think we are” which becomes an issue as it creates a habit of not being able to confront people or disagree with others opinions. Moreover it enables a pattern of behaviour where we change our thoughts and beliefs because someone else either approves or disapproves and accredit our self worth to the approval of others.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s something I’m sure we all encounter throughout our lives and is definitely an opportunity for growth for me on occasion. But I believe once we have an awareness of this we can begin the journey of self actualisation by changing the way we speak to ourselves.
Author Unknown
Positive Self talk and daily affirmations are great to use to aid you on this path of realising you are worth it and you’ve got this!!
One effective tool I use is “mirror work” and according to the late self help guru Louise Hay “Mirror work” is a unique, new age type of practice where you meet your reflection in the mirror and send yourself loving, self-affirming affirmations, and even open up a conversation with yourself as if you’re speaking with a dear friend” I know they say that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness but I readily agree that mirror work is definitely a benefit and a great resource in changing the way you talk to yourself.
I’ve found it also helps me breakdown concerns or questions I have about things happening in my everyday life and allows me to approach challenges in a more rational and realistic way. I suggest, even if it is once a day for a week to start with, to try it out. You may feel ridiculous being in front of a mirror talking to yourself at first but I assure you with consistent practice it gets easier and will create a positive difference in your perspective.
Image by Doe Zantamata
Some tips to begin mirror work:
1. Grab a mirror, handheld or free standing is fine as long as you get close, upfront and personal with it
2. Make eye contact, this is very important. It will feel uncomfortable at first but helps in seeing yourself without judgement
3. Start to talk to yourself. Begin by saying out loud positive affirmations and what makes you feel really good about yourself. It’s about building a willingness to be vulnerable with yourself.
This simple practice of positive self talk really can be transformative. If you are consistent and allow it to impact you in a positive way you will begin to see a difference in your approach to life in the little things.
We all at times need guidance or a voice to speak out for those that are not heard. That’s nothing to be ashamed or scared of. Especially now more than ever as we see the world in crisis. A pandemic, The Beirut Blast, climate change impacts, Black/Indigenous lives matter, Equality for all and collective stagnation to name a few. I’ve noticed the impact to my own mental health, however the collective outcry for reprieve, for change has been immense and gives hope. Throughout my own journey of spiritual, physical and mental growth, the overarching understanding I’ve encountered is that to serve others is a purpose that aids the universe or higher consciousness for the good of ALL people. It aids us all In growth, albeit sometimes kicking and screaming out of our comfort zone. This is when we learn the most about ourselves, our lives and the next step or path we need to be following. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting things to be different is not sustainable. If you feel you need some guidance or are unsure of your direction. Seek your path, Meditate and affirm. Take time for self care and self love but also do small things each day to serve others. These are the opportunities for growth that will assist in grounding you. Finding your path. By surrounding yourself with like minded people who can help bolster you and celebrate your achievements, even if they are the little things, will give you a sense of movement. Even a small step is a step forward. Don’t stay stagnant. Just do it! Live wide. Don’t miss your opportunity. The time is now. It’s your opportunity to evolve to your higher self. I am hoping to help in that journey, so come and join me here or on instagram @mr_gibbous_and_the_wildling and together we can shed energies that no longer match the frequency of our destiny 🦋
Mr Gibbous and The Wildling 